my mind is a warrior

Heavy petting. 

I’m basically just trying to get down to earth again, which isn’t working that well, and I doubt that I will ever be fully back.

Waiting for Gavin was tough. Thomas was awesome, but when he was done, we just stood there, waiting. All for the same thing. It was hot, there was barely any air, and I had to pee. Not the greatest thing. Then they carried out his piano, and I felt like crying. Then I got this big lump in my stomach. This was going to get good.

20:30. One band member after the other steps up on stage, and the screams are getting louder and louder. Then there he was. Leather jacket, black jeans, and a hat. Gavin DeGraw. And the lyrics to Candy came out of his mouth as he took out his ear thingys so that he could hear the audience and not himself. That smile was charming as fuck. Going on to Chariot without a break between the two songs, I could feel nothing but admiration. How the hell does he do it?

And this whole time, I felt like if I met him on the street and talked to him, he would be like any normal guy. Easy to talk to, easy to be around. That man stands steady on his two feet, that I can promise you. And I got all of this before he started talking and flirting and oh my god.

I literally have blackouts from pure happiness, so forgive me if I forget something. It will most likely come back in a few days. But at some point, early on - actually I think it was straight after Chariot - he started to talk and smile and he described the next song. A love song. He got into asking how many of us were in love, and asking how many of how came with someone special. Then he told us to turn to them and say ‘You should get another ride home.’ A laugh, and my heart melted. He went on about how every lady in the room with a partner should raise their hand and keep it raised. Then he looked at the ones who didn’t raise their hands.

“Available. Available. Available.”

Another one of those heart melting smiles. He started talking about the song again, and no one was quiet when he said “It’s about being someone’s soldier.”

I came to stockholm with four theories. 1) I would cry. 2) I would freak out. 3) I would just stand there, in shock. 4) I wouldn’t understand that I was actually there.

The fourth one was the case this time. Somewhere in the middle of We belong together I understood and a few thoughts ran through my head. “I’m here. He’s here. We’re almost close enough to touch.” I almost started to cry. Then the song was over, and I was back to not really understanding what the hell was happening.

He told us some stories, about how he used to have normal jobs before this one. Someone in the audience yelled “sexy bartender!” and he blushed and wrinkled his nose. My heart melted yet again. He told us about his first guitar, and his first song. He told us he would sing it, and then he laughed, telling us it didn’t belong on a stage. Well, mister, if I find a way, that song will be my ringtone. It was awesome.

People sang happy birthday to him, because his birthday is coming up. He looked so happy I wanted to cry. When he started to play the intro to a song, and every audience member started to sing before he did, he looked so happy I felt like crying. He told us a story about how when he was in high school, he liked this girl and she liked him, and they were making sandwiches - kissing, he clarified - and her father came into the room.

“He was a big guy. But that’s not the weird part. That’s when he asked if he could join us. [dramatic pause] That’s a joke. He kicked me out, and called it heavy petting.”

I laughed so hard I nearly cried.

He danced around and goofed around with his band, and my heart grew so much for this man that I have loved for eight years.

Then I heard the intro to I don’t want to be.

“My life is complete. I can now die happy.”

By then, I only had 3% left on my phone, and I knew it would die on me any second. But I needed to film it. My phone died somewhere in the middle though. But the video is there, and he does this adorable spin with his chair during the song. You adorable five year old.

Then he left, and his band left, and everyone screamed after him. His band came back. He came back. He sang Radiation, and finished things off with Not over you. And he looked so fucking adorable when everyone clapped their hands and screamed, and god, he looked like he was exactly where he wanted to be in life. He looked so happy I felt like crying.

During one part of the concert though, he stepped away from the microphone and stood at the edge of the stage. And sang with the audience. And god, that voice is the gift of heaven. Hearing him like that made me fall in love with him. Again.

He also got some “I love you’s” and “Nice ass!” He wrinkled his nose and laughed. Then he made this really deep, sexy sound while giving us a crooked smile and a wink, and I swear to god, I could hear my ovaries exploding. I have to look through my videos and see if I have it. Because honestly, I have no idea what I was doing. I just know that I screamed a lot, and that I’m now hoarse.

And I gotta say, this night will be hard to top. After loving the guy for eight years, my expectations were kinda high. And he beat all of them. That’s saying a lot.

So to sum Gavin up with a few words; Down to earth. Goofy. Adorable. Charming. Lovable. Sexy. Perfection.